if only i could tell you this..

because my fren epah has posted about the missing thinggy.... i'm gonna post one here too..

if only you can read this..

not to say that i really miss u.. but i do.. deep inside my heart....not so much, but just a plenty of the missing sensation...because you are no longer somebody i used to know..

Allah always took my best fren ever from my side...(this too has always become the reason why i never want to have a best friend) but He always replaces them with another best fren...and i know,, even if He does not give me any best frens,, that's because He wants to be my best fren..

p/s: to someone...if only you know,, how i really am afraid of losing u..i just couldn't help feeling so..

dear God,, my used-to-be-best-friend has changed a lot..359 degree rotation..why not 360 degree?? that's a full circle! because,,, i still believe that she's still somehow my best friend and she still regards herself as my best friend...Ya Allah,,what am i blabbering here?? hmm..

Ya Allah,, please,, give me back my friend.. my dearest friend.. i don't want her to change,, this lot.. she might be adapting herself to her current situation but i don't like the changes she'd made... why must she change to that kind? it's really good to have her the way she used to be.. not to say just good,, but GREAT!!

am i being selfish? hmm..sort of.. because,, i just love her,, i don't want her to astray..i know not of her anymore...let say if and only if she came back to me.. will she ever be able to accept me the way i am,, and vise versa??

YA Allah,,please,,protect her.....she was my first best fren in the world ever since i lived far apart my family.. i couldn't help to protect her,, only You can.. so do protect her Ya Allah....

i'm not forceful, or trying to become 'goodie good friend' but if that is the life she'd always been wanting,, Ya Allah,, bless her..Aminn..