a little butterfly is flying in my stomach, (seems like a degree of nervousness to me with the size of butterfly there) and, i have quite a number of things to do before boarding the bus home tonite.. and, well... i vented last nite..
people if they don't value others, should they be valued?
it wonders me if i should be taking care of someone that doesn't deserve to be taken care of.. well, ought to know that somehow, in this very world, the people are relying on the "give and take" preference, if you don't give, you shouldn't take, but if you give voluntarily, how much should you offer?
can you tell by just looking? i never did, but i based it to my preference, the "better do", and "better don't".. but to tell something by just looking needs practise, a lot, you know? the feeling of empathy which i myself lack...
i often question this,,since my last meeting at school with my mate's supervisor, somehow, i feel challenged, but it left me unanswered,, if you receive so much of the things that you don't like now and then, is it because you yourself had done the same to others before? i scrolled my mind to the life i had years before.. I NEVER DID! but to my surprise, those things happens to me! ME! WHY?! WHY?! WHY!????
on the other hand...
i met a friend, saying that, if you ought to endure on the things you can't really take it, it's a practise, given by Him to test you whether you can take it after being tested, before in reality and continually having to live with someone that poses the same undesired and unfavourable actions, those that you've been enduring during the test... i wonder if this is true... but i hate it! because i fail! i always fail the test! THIS TEST!
i wonder... and will keep wondering...
p/s: if this is a test, make me strong,
if this is a punishment, forgive me coz i've wronged..
(fail to rhyme these two sentences, feel real bad...)
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